Schools

Now that everyone has become a master of medical statistics due to this pandemic, I’d like to provide a few more. Alberta just released its results from antibody tests conducted in May. As of May 20th: 36,000 Albertans have had the virus, under 7,000 were reported (meaning 20% felt ill enough to be checked) and under 200 people have died, average age 84. 

Pushing these numbers further you see that 4 out of 5 people barely noticed they had it, and very few have died–primarily through pneumonia, which is how many of our elderly pass away. Those who die of old age usually have multiple conditions. One could have diabetes, COPD, poor kidneys, liver problems, or a weak heart. Pneumonia itself is rarely the demise, it’s its effect on other organs that usually takes you down. 

Anyway, pretend you’re the premier being presented with these figures. What would you do? The ongoing quasi-lockdown? 36,000 is almost 1% of Albertans so at max it’s 20,000 people. But with viruses everybody doesn’t get one. The real max is only 60-70% because that’s what’s called herd immunity. Viruses need a host to live in. And as infected hosts build antibodies this bad boy has less of a chance to move on. (If I cough in the face of 10 virgin people, potentially all ten could get it. But if a bunch already have the antibodies, there’s a much smaller chance. That’s why the fire burns wild at the start. Tons of virgins. But according to medical statisticians, at 60-70% all viruses peter out. And this could take 100 years.)

Anyway, it gets more complicated because today’s experts only budget for the first 12-18 months. After that they figure help will arrive and ill effects drastically reduce. The high-end percentage used in this case was 20%*. That’s what Canada used in its worst-case scenario when calculating initial models. But a more reasonable number is 10%*. That’s more probable as to what will happen. So it becomes 2,000 Albertans, average age 84, and many people die from multiple conditions. 

At best you’re saving 1,000 lives. Couple this with the economic and psychological cost of what’s going on and ask yourself if it’s worth it? There’s no question people are hurting out there and we can’t live on government aid forever. 

One more statistic: these requirements that cities are imposing for mandatory masks and social distancing will be with us another full year. Yes, a full year. At best, Canada will see a vaccine by July 2021*. And of course, it could be later.

Schools

Children suffer by not being allowed back in school. They’ve already missed 3½ months and then it was summer holiday. To ask them to sit out another full year would be harmful. 

But we’re afraid these little guys will be spreaders? That’s why they’re not allowed to play with their friends? They could get sick and give it to me? Well, I had pneumonia when I was 18 and thought it was only bronchitis. My organs were good. (Even now they’re still good.) People in decent physical health should not be worried about this virus, let alone feel terrified. And I hope the majority of those considered vulnerable support kids going back to school. Even better, I hope they lift the restrictions placed on the go-back programs because children need to play, they need to be in class, and they naturally need to get sick. In the end, it’s the vulnerable who will grant them permission.

Note: Sweden’s kids never left and Germany’s went back on June 15th, for two weeks. Listen to this podcast.

Names

Looks like the whole world is getting in on this relabeling thing. Egypt just announced they’re changing the name of their soccer team to the Cairo Practors. Previously it was the Sonic, referring to the speed and outstanding play of the team, but apparently some meteor got offended. 

Back home, I’m sure we’ll get through this. Within months we’ll see the Washington Memes, the Cleveland Also-Cavaliers, the Los Angeles Looters, and out here the Edmonton Cantaloupes. But that’s not what worries me. I say, we should be discussing the nationality names we’ve given each other. You know, words like “spaghetti bender,” “kraut,” and “kamikaze.” They too probably need an update. So here are some suggestions:

  • Italians – spaghetti bender was fine but now that everyone is eating it, perhaps we need a change. Besides, dagos have moved up in the world. How about something that recognizes our accomplishments in the fashion industry like, “Mr. Gucci over there” or “Lady Ferragamo.” This would be nice.
  • Portuguese – these guys are tired of being called pork chops. They’re noble people and Portugal is a beautiful place. So how about we call them Portuguese for now and if you see just one, a Portcha-goose?
  • Greeks – all those crowbar jokes have to go. They’re getting old and Greek men are lousy in bed. I say little feta-cheezers or Opa Winfries, but no more crowbar jokes.
  • Armenians – nobody ever talks about these people. They’d just like to be mentioned.
  • Asians – like the Greeks, they’re sick of Asian driver jokes. So they’re not that good at it. Take out more insurance.

And while we’re talking, here are a few more:

  • The Fat – something that ties into snowmen, like frosties or mountain people.
  • The Skinny – I think beanpole is still good. Hasn’t been over used.
  • Gays – no name in particular, just keep mentioning the parade.

Long story short, it’s good to have labels for the different looks of people. Not only do they act as wonderful terms of endearment but they’re efficient for telling police. So let’s keep the custom going. Then again, you could see the whole thing as being bigoted and say it’s time to move on. No more need to tease each other based on ethnicity, colour, or shape. And you might be right. Most of these sayings are out of date. Yes, they once served a purpose. Back in the day, laughing at each other was a great way to break up tension. Comics like Don Rickles used stereotypes to bring people together and it worked. Joking gave folks the freedom not to fear one another and then be themselves. But perhaps this style has passed. The melting pot has melted and today we’re mostly the same.

Just one question, can we still make fun of the Leafs?

Aphorisms

Andrew is a philosophy major who went to this school, that school, and another. I think he also teaches. Recently, he wrote a book about aphorisms. Those short little sayings that get passed along through generations like pieces of advice. But what’s special about this form of literature is that their meanings are open to interpretation. 

Then there’s a second part. A lady walked into a bookstore and felt angry. There was simply too much to know. How could anyone digest all of these books? Does acquiring knowledge really have to be this hard? That’s why another purpose of the aphorism is to act like a summary for passing along wisdom.

Nietzsche

Let’s use Friedrich Nietzsche as an example. He said, “If a temple is to be erected, a temple must be destroyed.” This saying is often attributed to his view on communism. The first rule of commie is to crush all religion, pursuing loyalty to the state and this ideology instead. Those reds have no time for faith. 

Anyway, there are many interpretations for this quote. What if you recently joined a gym trying to create a new self? Couldn’t this mean “in order to become healthy me, unhealthy me must die?” I think so. And it could be applied to other instances to mean all sorts of things. That’s the idea behind an aphorism. Someone crunches down a topic into a sound bite so that you, the reader, can learn. And it’s great. So now that you get the idea, let’s end with the first one ever said.

Know thyself

As you know, Western culture started with the Greeks. And the Greeks built an oracle at Delphi to speak directly with the gods. Guess what was the first thing they heard? “Know thyself.” And again, this could be interpreted a number of ways.

The official explanation is to know the part of you that is human and the part of you which is divine. So the oracle said there’s a little piece of God built right inside us. Kind of cool when you think about it. So cool that during the formation of the Catholic Church this nugget was placed at the centre of Christianity.

There you go, you just learned two new things: what’s an aphorism and “know thyself.” Remember them deeply because you don’t want to be messing with no oracle.

Inflation II

The first article on this topic discusses one type of inflation—prices rise when more money chases the same number of goods. That’s the general theory, but it fails when we run the t-shirt machine a few extra hours to make all the fashion you want. Yes, more money causes inflation when it comes to something that’s limited in supply, but it doesn’t when you can flip a switch to generate more. So if everyone needs the only lawyer in town and wads of cash is available, the price of legal services will rise. That doesn’t need to happen when goods are easily made. For example, more money doesn’t make the price of sweaters go up. More money makes people buy more sweaters. So instead of having three, we buy five. But they’ll all be at the same price.

The second cause of inflation comes with rising costs within nature. We already know the price of oranges gets affected by an early frost. If nature ruins the growing season, the yield will be less. As a result, the price of oranges rises and only those who really want them, buy them. Same goes when farmers have a bumper crop. Lots of asparagus means cheap asparagus. That’s why you always buy fruits and vegetables in season.

The biggest source of cost-caused inflation is wages. For instance, when we raise the minimum wage or export jobs to China, it’s easy to see a direct causation. But what about when staff come calling due to the cost of living? Sometimes employers can negate this increase by way of productivity, sometimes they can’t. When not, here’s another reason for inflation. 

So there are four primary causes:

  • Too much money chasing the same number of goods and we can’t flip a switch to make more (e.g., legal services in a town with only one lawyer)
  • Cost increases due to nature (e.g., early frost on oranges, forest fires on lumber)
  • General cost of living affecting wage demands (with no accompanying productivity gain)
  • Increases or decreases in productivity (e.g., new machinery, government regulations, corporate tax)

Prices have a number of methods to go up (or down). So just to be safe, maybe buy everything today.

Inflation

Understanding economics is different from learning other trades. For example, take machining or dentistry. The knowledge in these areas gets acquired and then passed along through generations. But with economics it’s often figured out on the fly. That’s because conditions in this field change. Take inflation.

For the past 50 years central bankers have focused on this issue. Previously, their mandate was to control inflation and encourage employment—both at the same time. But during the reality of the 1970s, bankers were forced into making a choice. Faced with the conundrum of high inflation and not enough jobs, Milton Friedman claimed the two could never be satisfied at once. He said the concern for inflation must always come first and that’s what central bankers did. They shifted focus.

Two levers

Big banks started managing inflation by using two levers: control interest and print money. When things look good keep rates low, but once inflation rears its ugly head, rates go back up. Then when the economy is suffering, push rates down to provide stimulus. That’s how they saw rates. The second lever involved putting money in and out of the system (by printing and destroying). 

Together these levers worked well up until the crash of ‘08, which was a big one. Central banks reacted by lowering interest rates and increasing their part in world money supply from $46 to $69 trillion. Yes, they created 23 trillion dollars in just ten years. Traditionalists expected bigtime inflation to follow since more money was now chasing the same number of goods but that didn’t happen. We experienced only regular inflation (because it’s easy to make more goods). 

More importantly, over the past few months of 2019 central banks stopped using the interest lever. They figured inflation could now be controlled by simply putting money in and out of the system. This way rates could remain low and government debt would be manageable for the foreseeable future. (What some call, kicking the can down the road.)

Modern Monetary Theory

Then we caught Covid and a whole whack of new debt has been issued. What to do? Well bankers are pondering a new idea. This time, instead of using either of the old levers, they’ll be using taxation. You see the only concern with lots of money in the system is inflation. But what if we could control inflation another way? Here’s the plan.

Imagine if GST floated between 1% and 29. When it’s 29, will you be buying a new car? Probably not. But when it’s at 1%, everything goes on sale. Under this new program government can jack up or down the economy without constraining the money supply. This way we can continue to sustain enormous amounts of debt. It’s like redefining money’s purpose. Sure, money will still facilitate the exchange of services and goods, but in the macro sense it will no longer be part of controlling inflation. And that’s a major change (until the next new theory).

The Election

Make no mistake about it, Donald Trump is going to win this election. But a lot of people want him out. Not just the Dems, they’re the least of his concerns, all of Hollywood, every comedian, Lebron James, and the entire NFL want him out. Plus a lot of powerful people you don’t even know (e.g., from Switzerland). At the same time a lot of people want him in. So we’re about to see politics at its fiercest. 

First of all, Trump will win. And not only will he win, he’ll capture 70 million votes. One more than Barack Obama’s record 69. Why? Because the whole underclass is with him. He has 82 million followers. Sure, some don’t like the man but he’s still got to have 60. Plus a bunch who don’t tweet. And according to every social media player out there, followers vote. So not only will he win, he’ll win big. A complete annihilation that will take Dems years to rebuild.

This is not a battle between traditional left and right. The old Republicans were idiots and everyone knew it. Remember the Tea Party? Absolute fools. But this new team has been modified to represent working class people. Those not participating in fun capitalism because they never got a piece of paper. This is the Repub’s new demographic (and why Mitch McConnell is smiling). They used to be called Reagan democrats you dummies! 

And they’ll no longer be socially anal. Finally getting the message. Yes, they rely on Bible-thumper support but man, those numbers are dwindling. We need some new blood.

Currently, Democrats are a mess. As the saying goes: liberals were the good guys, now they’re freaking crazy. Much of America is horrified by these thoughts. Besides, Chuck, Nancy, and Joe are closing in on 80, and Bernie’s older than them. What happened to the Obama-Clinton party? Did everyone leave town? There’s nothing positive going on. Only oldies fighting with kids. It’s ridiculous.

Detractors

But a lot of people still want him out. So are they smart? Are they wise? How about athletes? Lebron is easily one of the world’s finest people but has he studied political theory or economics? Can’t he recognize what Trump has achieved within his critique? At least some of it? King James is certainly a great person but I wouldn’t proxy him my vote.

And how about Hollywood? Are they good? Remember they booed Michael Moore off the stage. The Oscar was for Bowling for Columbine, the best documentary ever made. No more noble a left-winger exists than heart-on-my-sleeve Mike and they booed him for saying there were no weapons of mass destruction. It was Day 5 of the Iraqi invasion and Michael knew the fact. So he said it out loud and the pretty dresses would have none of it. “Tuck in your shirt, Mike. We’ve got this.” 

Anyway, Michael hates him too. Even after Trump made jobs for Flint, released all those prisoners, went easy on gay marriage and dope, and opposed YouTube from censoring Michael’s new film. So what’s he saying?

Next on the list are the generals. These boys came out recently with overwhelming disparagement. Again, I wonder. Ever study Eisenhower’s caution over the industrial military complex? You should. The generals were happy when Trump let them have at it with ISIS, but when he decided to pull out they got pissed off. Which translates into motive.

Last on the list is Glenn Greenwald. He also hates Trump. Glenn’s reputation is so impeccable that superstar author and columnist, Matt Taibbi, just left Rolling Stone to join him. They are the best two around. And in case you didn’t know, Glenn broke the story on Snowden, which has two things to say. Glenn’s not afraid of higher power and Edward Snowden felt he was the right choice. You see, Snowden was snitching on his nation which forced Obama into making changes. Ones that protect personal privacy by limiting what government can know about you. Edward chose Greenwald to represent him. As a result, Glenn now resides in Brazil—not allowed back in the States. 

Anyway, Glenn hates Trump. And not only does he hate him, he’s fair about it. Not your everyday liberal. A straight up shooter who digs for the truth. (At least when it comes to important matters—everyone’s got to make a living.) Anyway, over the entire Russia affair, Glenn defended Donald. He called it a deep-state situation not worthy of news. But he still hates the man so he must be holding something.

Summary

The first rule of knowledge is to know where your information is coming from. Solid info doesn’t come from buddies on a soapbox, it comes from professionals who follow this stuff. And there are two types: academics and journalists. Those who study and those who observe. 

Some reporters look up theory but most do it by feel. These three guys are good. Matt traveled on the plane with Trump during the 2016 election and got to know his base. He also called Russia a hoax, but again, Matt doesn’t support Trump. 

So maybe forget about Hollywood before casting your ballot and listen to Glenn, Matt, and Mike. They tell the other side of the story.

The Pawn Who Looked Up

A previous article made this statement “make no mistake about it, the world is not run by 35 people living inside a castle; it’s run by politicians, big-time businesspeople, and bureaucrats.” But I may have been wrong. Based on recent events I’m starting to believe that it is. Not 35 and not in a castle, but 10 plus another 10, living somewhere in Switzerland. These are the folks who control modern day thought.

I’m thinking Switzerland because world thought could never come from an unsuccessful country, but it has to be an old one. China couldn’t do it and neither could Japan. It would have to be somewhere in Europe. And Switzerland is the perfect place. They’re totally chill. They stay out of everything and neither house the EU, the WHO, the UN, or any central bank. All they do is host a world economic forum at Davos.

And in case you’re wondering, Trump is one of us. A pawn reacting to their ambitions just like the rest. It’s not like they phone him—because they don’t. No formal communication exists between the president of the United States and those who control modern day thought. 

Taoist symbol

Now stare at the Taoist symbol and let’s get down to details. In this case, the two colours represent male and female. White is female and black is male. The beauty of this symbol is that it doesn’t only represent the concepts of opposites and balance, it also shows two dots. Dots to illustrate there is some male inside of female, and female inside of male. 

The example I used was the original appointments to Justin Trudeau’s cabinet. Only one third of elected representatives were ladies but he put them into cabinet at 50%. A big deal in conservative newspapers. At the time, my point was this: when it comes to the real world there are two ways to implement feminism. One as per Justin and another by growing the female dot within men, which is actually what’s happening.

Anyway, there are two houses in Switzerland that control world economic and political thought. 

Modern politics

It’s fascinating what’s going on in economics these days, and don’t kid yourself, Trump taught everyone a lesson. The dough heads forgot about demographics. When they started giving away manufacturing jobs through globalization, they started with the crap you find at a dollar store. All the minimum wage jobs. But when they moved into durable goods (stuff made from steel) many people got jerked. Those who lost good jobs woke up to a new lousy reality and cities became riddled with unnecessary crime. Damn Swiss. The regular guy could no longer make it. So Trump and his team taught them a lesson.

On the social side things are getting pretty hairy. Forget defunding the police, where did all these transgenders come from and what’s with this conversation about my sexuality? Some views are bordering on crazy and we’re witnessing the original intent of the Taoist symbol—chaos and order. Are these ten Swiss planners out of their minds or are they trying to take us to somewhere more beautiful?

Another aspect of the symbol is change versus staying the same. In political speak, liberals represent change, while conservatives try to slow things down. They’re the drag on the system because you don’t want to execute change too quick. But I think it’s all nuts. I really do. 

What I observed over Covid is that people are nowhere ready for where they are taking us. I saw people who craved order. Especially the ones pledged into this new belief system. Liberals were total scaredy cats when it came to facing death, while cons pedaled around in leather jackets and conspiracy theories trying to impress everyone into believing they were tough. What a joke! They were terrified sh!#less. We all were. 

So I learned this: regular people—and we’re all regular people—are much more in the middle than what this baloney insists. But yes, we are open to change.

Summary

The world isn’t run by businesspeople, politicians, and bureaucrats. It’s run by 20 people living inside a castle, somewhere in Europe. Probably Switzerland. They decide what others believe in because they know how to control minds. Then they march us around like everyday pawns. 

They tell our liberals what to say and conservatives how to react. That’s why this isn’t coming from America. They’re a follower when it comes to liberalism. It’s still a pretty conservative country. Bibles everywhere. Soldiers all over the place. Modern day liberal thought does not come from America, which is another reason why POTUS is one of us.

You’re being manipulated for what you think. Not when picking up a child or smelling a rose—they don’t control every aspect of us, it’s less than 10%—but when holding a position over how we live. That’s when they try to control us.

And currently, I think it’s all nuts.

Italian Blood Brothers

White people have this tradition to bond friendships that they learned from the Natives. Each man pricks his finger and the two exchange blood. This old trick solidifies the relationship so they get through thick and thin together. This way, no matter what happens, I’ll hang in there. 

Italians have a different system. Instead of pulling out a hatchet we insult each other right at the start. This way, no matter what happens it’s not the end of the world. Getting the worst out early works for two obvious reasons: one, Italians suck at physical altercation and two, we love to shout.

Magic words

The magic words are FU and calling the other a knob. These are the biggies that make two gentlemen friends. If your relationship can survive these simple insults it’s ready for the long term. That’s why we test it early—so nobody wastes time.

Of course, white people are different. Even after trading blood, most friendships remain tenuous. You could be buddies for twenty-something years, swapping both blue jeans and beer, only to cross this imaginary line and poof—it’s over. Italians could never operate like this. We wouldn’t have friends.

Anger

Hey, anger is natural and it’s good to sound off. Some on a daily basis, some by the hour. People need to blow off steam from time to time because it’s unhealthy to keep thoughts bottled up. But what’s important is that everyone gets over it.  

The problem with white people—those from the British Isles, Germany, Holland, and Rural Alberta—is they’re sensitive to being called stupid. Italians don’t have this problem. We already know we are. Intellectual superiority isn’t important to us. But with white people it’s a really big deal. That’s why you have to watch yourself around them.

Summary

Allowing immigration was a wonderful idea (and thanks again) but newcomers aren’t just about cheap labour and good food. You can learn many things from us and fighting is one. Letting out opinions without repercussion is a great way to communicate and you’ll fall in love with it fast. Nobody is Zeus around here. We’re all on the same path.

So put on the pasta and say what you think. Honesty is a great step on the way to progress. But remember, there’s one cardinal rule—no mothers.

Chapter 6

Jimmy Roberts died one week after he learned how to defrost meat. I know so because he told me the last time we met. You just put it in water, like in a plastic bag or something, and wait. He knew about beans too. Said you take the dried ones and soak ’em overnight. Then in the morning, boil until soft. Then use them like they came out of a can.

Too bad he didn’t know anything about bladder infections, because that’s what killed him.

He was a funny guy, old Jimmy. Always telling stories about his cousin. Like he used to say his cousin had this condition that makes him have an orgasm every time he takes a pee. “So we never see him anymore because now all he does is stay home and drink water!”

Another time he told us his cousin bought himself a blow up doll. “He says it works great—already filled up one leg!” Jimmy was always telling funny stories like that. Dirty ones, you know. So he didn’t tell ’em around women. But they were still pretty funny.

One time he rented a hooker ’cause he wanted to take a good look down there. Got her to lay down naked and open up her legs. He started poking around trying to identify all the pieces when he came upon something he didn’t know. Said, “what’s this?” and she goes, “that’s my Libya.” He goes, “No way, you got your own country!” Then he looks up at us and says, “Maybe that’s where that word comes from. Maybe it means little country.”

He was a horrible person. He really was.

His father was our school principal. Of course Jimmy stayed on and finished. I think he even went to college. His dad was a smart man, always trying to teach you something. Like he talked about Plato. Figured he was the best man in history. And then he’d tell us about Socrates, who Plato thought was even better. Aristotle was another one Mr. Roberts liked. Said he was smart too but in a different sort of way.

I never understood much about what teachers were trying to tell you. None of it made sense to me. Sure I liked counting and ABCs, but I never got the part about science or real math. I liked geography and one time got an A on an assignment. I never felt more proud than when I got that A. For days I figured they got the wrong kid, but no one said anything so I guess it was me.

Another time Jimmy told us about Hitler. Said during the fall of Berlin he married his girlfriend. Then twelve hours later he shot himself. “Now there were other things going on at the time but she was probably driving him crazy!”

Oh, he was bad.

—————————————————————————————-

Mrs. Roberts was a nice lady who had wonderful penmanship. I know so because she was always leaving Jimmy notes. “Baseball at 5:00” or “Don’t forget your lunch.” Some of them just said “I love you.” What a nice thing to say. Some kids know it and some kids don’t. I figure it can’t hurt for adults to say something nice. (One time I stole an “I love you” and kept it in my room.)

My mother never said things like that. It’s like she didn’t know the words. Sometimes she’d say “pass the salt” without yelling at you, so I guess that was her way. But she sure didn’t put herself out for anyone. Then I’d go to Arturro Matzurro’s house or Jimmy’s and see what a real woman was like. Boy, what a difference. Then I’d wish they could be my mom.

Yes, Mrs. Roberts was a nice lady but her little dog wasn’t. That mutt must have bit half the kids in Alderside. I remember being chased by that thing for more than a mile. Man, what a shit mutt.

Back then people used to let their dogs run wild. They were part of the scenery, you know, with positions of power. Dogs had almost as many rights as people. It’s why you had to work things out. But me and that mutt never agreed. Maybe we had difficulties in a past life. I don’t know. Tried to kill it once. I did. Sharpened a stick and waited for it in the field behind Jimmy’s house. But on that particular day it never came. Next time I saw it I didn’t have the stick. Eventually we worked it out, but I never trusted that dog.

Jimmy used to call it Ipsa. Said that was Swedish for I pissa-shitta anywhere I wanta. People used to ask what kind of dog you got, and Jimmy would say a carpet shitter. Two parts carpet, ten parts shitter. “And it’s a dumb dog. You say roll over – it plays dead. You say shake paw – and it shits on the carpet.” God, I hated that thing.

Chapter 5

One good thing about getting old is you know what kind of food you like.

I like honey. That cream honey, the white stuff. God damn that stuff is good. I also like steak. Thin steak that you put on a bun. When I was a kid there were real burger joints. The kind owned by Greek fellas. Sure they’d sell burgers but they also had steak on a bun, fish on a bun, and some kind of veal cutlet. God damn that stuff was good.

And the fries were always hand cut. Homemade and hand cut—that’s what the sign would say. All this burger-joint stuff we got today is crapola. Just designed to feed the masses because nobody cooks anymore. Before people ate at home and going out was a treat, so it ought to be good. But now it’s kind ‘a like feeding cattle. Everyone lines up and gets processed.

I like cereal. With cold milk first thing in the morning. I like how it hits your mouth—the milk and all.

My mother was a shit cook. Only thing she was good at was rice pudding and sometimes French toast. She never made soup and her spaghetti sauce always came from a can. I think you have to know how to love to be a good cook, and she couldn’t do that either. All she did was take care of herself. Wasn’t abusive or nothing like that—just not very motherly. Wasn’t a real giver. Not like Arturro Matzurro’s mom. God damn that was a fine woman. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for you. Sometimes I hated my mother’s genes being inside of me. And when I was about 13, I tried scraping at my skin to get her the hell out. But then I got over it.

Fruit, not too much. I find they always look better than they taste. Probably because way up here you can never get the good stuff. Vegetables, same thing, except for roast carrots. They’re always pretty good.

For years I had trouble taking number two. I’d just sit there forever, waiting for something to come out. And then when it did, it would hurt. Then someone told me about fiber and I started eating beans and stuff. Now I’m good. Funny how what goes inside can make such a difference. Like booze. Drink a whole bunch and you become an asshole. Same with drugs. A tiny pill can fuck you up. It’s amazing.

I like roast chicken and roast pork, but I like chicken better. The legs, the thighs, the tits. Roast chicken with roast carrots and cereal—now that’s my kind of supper.

—————————————————————————————-

Matty would never have agreed to going into business. She wasn’t a fan of it the first time. Something about never being home. I guess she grew up with that and didn’t figure it was worth the trouble. Chasing money. Needless to say ‘cause she came to live with me.

Gonsalvo is a good worker and all. Not the type who’d ruin a partnership ’cause he’d figure he was doing more than half. All he’s looking for is a better life. Same work, better life.

The first time was a mess. We didn’t know how to get business. We hired a salesman and all he did was bring us bad deals. People who didn’t know shit from Shinola who’d ask for a discount after the work was done. And some who never had any intention of paying before they placed the order. You just can’t make money off little guys. I don’t know if I want to do that again.